Love Hurts
by Rei Eien
Summary: 1x3;3+4 implied. Songfic. Heero's POV of his love and lost of Trowa. (^^;; Gomen ne. I suck at summaries)


Title: Love Hurts  
  
Author: Rei Eien  
  
Date: 1-Aug-01  
  
Category: Song fic  
  
Rating: PG-13?  
  
Pairings: 1x3; 3+4  
  
Warnings: Yaoi  
  
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters belong to Bandai, Sunrise, and Sotsu Agency; and are being used for non-profit entertainment purposes. So please don't sue because I have nothing and I am a poor college student.  
  
Feedback: C&C (Tell me I should stop attempting to write.)  
  
Note: Love Hurts is a song by Nazareth. This is my first attempt to write and it happens to be a songfic. It is 2:45 AM. So please forgive me of any errors and if this sounds corny. This is from Heero's POV.  
  
Key:  
  
// denotes author's notes  
  
~~ denotes music lyrics  
  
// Some where on Peacemillion in a quite room.  
  
I remember the first time I saw him. How his light brown hair fell covering his left eye. His brilliant green eyes had so much depth in them. To the others it must've seemed cold, but I knew those eyes had years behind them. We are so much alike. We don't need words to say how we felt. We enjoyed the silence and the comfort of understanding between us that I didn't think that any other person could relate with. He captivated me from the start.  
  
I had woken up from death. Can I call it that? I had self-destructed and this guy whom I had know idea who he was, nursed me back to health. I had slept for a month on his bed. And even after I had regained consciousness he still took care of me.  
  
I don't know when I first fell in love with Trowa, that's his name. I guess it was the first time he laughed....a true laugh and I was the first to hear it along with Cathy. Or maybe when he went with me on my redemption with the Noventa family. I just know that I was grateful that he was there. I was even more touched when he lent me his gundam to fight with Zechs. Our gundams are very personal to us and normally we wouldn't want any one to touch it or much less use it, but he went out of his way and help me learned to pilot it with my injuries.  
  
~~Love hurts, love scars, love wounds, and mars   
  
~~Any heart not tough or strong enough  
~~To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain  
~~Love is like a cloud  
~~Holds a lot of rain  
~~Love hurts......ooh, ooh love hurts  
  
We were in love. Or at least that's what I thought. All the nights in bed holding each other and expressing our love with our young eager bodies. And yet I see them together. The pain I feel for the lost. I guess I can't blame Trowa. I, after all, didn't look for him when Quatre went berserk and blasted his Vayaete with Wing Zero's blaster gun. I wanted to look for him, but I am a soldier first. And there was a war to be fought. I also had faith that he would be alive and he was trained just like me to take care of himself in any situation.  
  
For months while I was fighting on earth, I would look up to the stars. My thoughts would always be on Trowa. I wanted so much to end the war so that I could search for him. Relena was doing all she could to help and in gratitude, I stayed near her to protect her and the Sanq Kingdom.  
  
~~I'm young, I know, but even so  
~~I know a thing or two  
~~I learned from you  
~~I really learned a lot, really learned a lot  
~~Love is like a flame  
~~It burns you when it's hot  
~~Love hurts......ooh, ooh love hurts  
Trowa was the first person whom I didn't always have to be perfect in front of. I didn't have to hide my emotions. I didn't need to tell him in words all my doubts, my fears, and my pain. Somehow he knew. He was there when I needed him the most. He is my first love and I was able to learn what it was to love someone and care for someone unconditionally. Trowa showed me what it was to be a friend and lover. I love him so much. I had hoped to be the one find him. But Quatre found him first.  
  
When I first arrived on Peacemillion and saw Trowa, I wanted more then anything to run up and hold him and tell him how much I loved him. But in the mist of my joy of seeing Trowa, I noticed Quatre holding his hand. And now I see them both together on Peacemillion. I see the little smiles and glances they pass to each other when they think no one is looking. But I am aware of everything that passes between them because that's my love loving someone who nearly killed him.  
  
~~Some fools think of happiness  
~~Blissfulness, togetherness  
~~Some fools fool themselves I guess  
~~They're not foolin' me  
  
I remember when we would lay in each other's arms and talked about our lives after the war. How we would travel and see the world. So much of our childhood was taken from us. We both hated the war; the unnecessary killing. But that is what happens in war. We were both soldiers just doing our job that we didn't want but had to complete. We just wanted to be free to be who we were or at least find ourselves in a world of peace and live life like every normal being. We even talked about getting a place on earth since it is where we first meet, shared our first kisses, and the first time we made love. I was happy to just to be with him and I thought those smiles he rarely gives were special only to me. How could I be so wrong?  
  
They say that Trowa has lost his memory, but he doesn't remember me at all. And what if he eventually does? He is with Quatre now. And that won't change even if his memories come back.  
  
Oh why won't this pain in my chest stop?  
  
~~I know it isn't true, I know it isn't true  
~~Love is just a lie  
~~Made to make you blue  
~~Love hurts......ooh, ooh love hurts  
~~Ooh, ooh love hurts  
  
I guess this pain won't go away. I feel so all alone now. I can't tell Trowa what we once shared. How can I if he can't remember me? It doesn't seem like he is trying to remember me. One would think that a love that special should be able to over come any obstacle even amnesia. But I guess our love wasn't strong enough or maybe it wasn't love at all. All my dreams and hope shattered.  
  
"Trowa, I love you even if you didn't love me. Sayonara."  
  
~~I know it isn't true, I know it isn't true  
~~Love is just a lie  
~~Made to make you blue  
~~Love hurts......ooh, ooh love hurts  
~~Ooh, ooh love hurts  
  
~~Ooh, ooh.  
  
Owari!! ^__^;;  
  
1 


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